More than a Writer

Teach = verb

Write = verb

Clean = verb

Verb = action

Doing something.

I already explained that I am more than a preschool teacher.  That I am also a writer.  But the more I thought about it that evening, the more I realized that I am more than a writer as well.  I am not defined just by verbs.  I am not defined just by what I do.

Daughter = noun

Sister = noun

Friend = noun

Girlfriend = noun

Noun = person

Someone.

I am actually defined by my relationships--who I am in relation to the others around me.  They do not only add to my definition, but I help to shape theirs as well.  I cannot daught.  I can only be a daughter.  (Although just as a side note in my mind when I thought about dotting it was like ". . . . . ." kind of dots and I thought that if there was a dotter there would have to be a crosser as well.  It reminded me of the jots and tittles spoken of in the Bible.)

"To be" is a verb, but there is no action required in being.  It is actually referred to as a state of being verb.  It stands alone.  I can be a sister, friend or girlfriend.  There is work and action required in maintaining and growing these relationships, but if I quit working, I would still be.  I would retain my "titles" for lack of a better word because of the people around me.  They do not expect anything of me other than that I am.  Even when family members pass away, I am still a niece, daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter.  Their position has changed (from this life to the next), but my relationship to them hasn't.  I still am.

This hit home just yesterday as I was talking to my boyfriend about how overwhelming his love for me is and how undeserving I am of it.  I didn't treat him well yesterday.  He tried to plan a fun hike for us and I was grumpy and complaining the whole time.  I argued with him.  I cried.  I looked and felt like crap.  And he still loved me.  Just because I was.  Just because I am.