1 year (give or take!)

They say time flies but I don't believe it.  I can watch things that fly.  I can see the plane in the sky or the birds taking off.  But I can't watch time passing.  And so, I'm not sure how it happened.  My grandma told me not to blink, so I didn't.  But now he's one.  My little, oldest baby boy.  My first.  A whole year.  SO BIG!!!

9:37 a.m. 6 lbs. 5 oz. 18 inches 4.5 weeks early

We weren't going to have a first birthday party, but Josiah had never really had sugar, and he was going to get a cupcake.  Family wanted to see that.  Once family is invited it's nothing to add in a couple more of his favorite people.  So we had a party.  We did an airplane travel theme since his new, big boy room is going to be decorated that way.  I made up some boarding pass invitations and some die cuts thanks to my Cricut.  (However, I also forgot to take a picture of the decorations so you won't be seeing any of them!)  We had a toddler geared party with juice and water, graham crackers, goldfish crackers, cheerios and trail mix (for the parents).  The kids took home gliders and there were airplane coloring pages and airplane sugar cookies to decorate for the older kids.  The babies just played.

Then it was time for the cupcakes.  I made pumpkin so I could tell myself that at least they had fruit in them.  I also made the cream cheese frosting so I could limit the sugar.  Josiah didn't really know what to think when we sang "Happy Birthday."  Then he looked at his cupcake while we snapped a few pictures and when I told him it was to eat, he tentatively touched it.  Once he tasted the frosting though, he dug in with both hands!

Then he asked for more.  He wasn't happy that he could only have one!  Luckily he's easily distracted.  :)  He also wasn't sure about the presents.  No one wanted me to teach him how to open presents (go figure!).  But I did help.  We'll see how much of the lesson stuck next week when we open Christmas presents, but as I'm sure you've guessed...that's another story!

20 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

 

 

How Far Along? 20 weeks

Total Weight Gain? 15 pounds (but at my last weigh in I had on my boots and lots of layers—it was freezing outside!)

Maternity Clothes? Yep, since 8 weeks this time around.

Belly? Raspberry has popped out.  People still say they forget I’m pregnant but I think that has more to do with coats, sweaters and scarves hiding my belly than not actually having a belly.

Baby size? About 12 oz. at our ultrasound.

Gender? It’s a surprise! (I think girl.  Danny thinks boy).

Movement? For sure at 18 weeks exactly.  Danny felt Raspberry for the first time this week.

Sleep? Yes.  I’m between classes so I can nap sometimes.  I also have this itchy skin thing happening from the cold and pregnancy hormone combo and that sometimes wakes me up.

Cravings? Greasy, cheesy pepperoni pizza. (Okay, maybe not greasy).  They had a piece on the end of one Scrubs show.  I’ve been eating pizza every chance I get since.  Oh, and eggnog lattes!  Have to have them!  (But I’m pretty picky about which ones).

Aversions? I made fish before our ultrasound and I wanted to eat some right then.  By the time we got home and I finished making it, just the smell was making me sick.  It must be a seafood thing.

Symptoms? I still get sick if I don’t eat regularly.  I run out of breath.  And sometimes I just have to sleep—like right then.

Preparing for birth? I’m waiting until after Christmas (possibly January) to start preparing for Raspberry.  The goal is to be done by March in case of a debut like Josiah’s.

Labor signs? Possibly some Braxton Hicks.  I didn’t have them last time so I’m not sure but sometimes there’s tightening and I have to take a minute to breathe.

What I miss? Being able to bend over and carrying Josiah without getting tired. 

Best Moment this week? Our ultrasound.  I love seeing our little baby moving around.  And the best part of the ultrasound was definitely when the sonographer was looking for the left ventricle and Raspberry’s face popped up like playing peek-a-boo.  Then she would duck back and pop back up again.  I know she couldn’t see us, but it sure felt like she was looking right at us!

16 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

 

 

How Far Along? 16 weeks

 

Total Weight Gain? 6 pounds (I’m not counting the leftovers from Josiah)

Maternity Clothes? Yep, since 8 weeks this time around.

Belly? Rounded in front.  Definitely a preggo belly.

Baby size? About 4-5 inches (crown to rump) and 3 oz.

Gender? It’s a surprise! (I think girl.  Danny thinks boy).

Movement? Possibly.  Little thumps here and there, but I tend not to count it until I am for sure for sure, you know?

Sleep? I have a one-year-old and am getting my Master’s Degree, so napping when he naps is sort of a thing of the past.  Sometimes I can squeeze in an afternoon nap.  I’m ready for bed not too long after Josiah goes down.  Blessedly he is sleeping most nights all the way through again.  Sometimes Raspberry doesn’t and has me up in the wee morning hours.  Ahh to sleep again…maybe someday!

Cravings? I’ve dreamt of taquitos.  We once had to drive around to find the right kind of nachos for lunch.  I also had a dream about an ice cream stand with about 40 different kinds of ice cream bars.  So yeah, there are cravings this time around and they aren’t just based on suggestions!

Aversions? I made garlic pasta shrimp the other day that sounded so good.  I couldn’t eat it once it was made.  But when dinner was over and I was putting it away it sounded good again so I could eat some.  I know right!  Oh, and there have definitely been some poopy diaper aversions...I mean like gagging.  Heightened sense of smell = not a good thing during diaper changes.

Symptoms? I’m past the eating all the time to keep from throwing up, but I still do get sick if I don’t eat regularly.  I run out of breath, yes already.  And I’ve been getting headaches.  I go to the eye doctor to see if they are pregnancy related or eye related.

Preparing for birth? I’m waiting until after Christmas (possibly January) to start preparing for Raspberry.  The goal is to be done by March in case of a debut like Josiah’s.

Labor signs? None. 

What I miss? The naps I got to take when I was pregnant with Josiah that kept me going through the day.

Best Moment this week? Josiah’s airplane themed first birthday (WHAT HE’S ONE!!!) and our family Christmas pictures.  Stay tuned for posts on those.

Lost Me

trying to make sense of the randomness
bring order to the chaos
fun to the work
with no luck
stuck with the drudgery
laughter long gone
tears streaming down the inside
no where to cry on the outside
living moments by motion
days slip away
life carries on
waves throw me along
each incident building
leading to overwhelming
no me in sight
lost in everyone else
their needs more important
more pressing
more needy
sour looks leaking out
a frown where a smile once permanently lived
desiring the past and the hurts that lived there
hurts that affected no one but me
now any hurt only hurts others
me most of all
in the bottle it's stuffed in
awaiting the science fair explosion that's sure to come
spewing on anyone around
when a rock to crawl under
would be the best choice
but
wait
someone's
calling
no time
I'm needed again

That's Not All Folks!

There were lots of other things that happened in the course of planning the wedding as well.  Here are the ones I can remember!

• There was cutting out 150 tags, snipping 150 ribbon pieces, and tying those tags with those ribbons onto 150 little white take-out boxes for the wedding favors.  Then there was the baking of dozens and dozens of cookies to freeze and arrange on trays for guests to put into those boxes (of which I think only two did!  :P).

• There was the making of 50 wedding announcements which was almost exactly like putting together the wedding invitations.  (For more on what that was like, see that post.)

• There was the collecting of 150 china dinner plates, salad plates, glass stemware, cloth napkins, 30 glass water pitchers, 30 china creamers, 30 glass salt and pepper shakers, and silverware for 150 place settings.  Then there was the wrapping of the silverware in the napkins and the packaging of the dishes into boxes for each table so that come rehearsal time, the box could be put by the table and unpacked and set as soon as the tablecloth was on.

• There was the putting together of the seating chart, printing copies for my hosts who would be helping to direct people to their seats, and then there was the making of the lists and the special frame I wanted to hold the lists.

• My grandma had to make the veil.

• My mom had to make the garters (one for tossing and one for Danny).

• We had to get the groomsmen and bridesmaids gifts.

• We had our dance lessons so we didn't just end up on the dance floor turning little circles like a slow moving top.  I liked the song Danny picked out as our first dance song, but after more than 100 times, lets just say we stopped listening to it a few weeks before the wedding so it would still be meaningful.

• The last minute dress alterations and steaming had to be done, which ended up being a pain because the person at the dress shop who was going to do it no longer worked there so they wanted to charge me.  We ended up just buying a steamer and doing it ourselves (which actually means that my mom, my grandma and my team did it!).

• I had to have my hair and make-up trial.  I had some wonderful people at church willing to help me out with this.  (They have since become great friends.)  It was so fun getting to be pampered not just on my day, but beforehand too!

(Please note the turkey neck muscles.  You will be seeing A LOT more of them shortly!)

• We had to go suit shopping.  Central Oregon was limited in that as well.  We could find super skinny suits in our price range but not that would fit all of our groomsmen.  Plus, who knew Pewter would be such a hard color to match with?  We ended up having to drive over to the valley to order from Men's Warehouse, which meant we definitely did NOT stay within the budget we were shooting for.  The upside was we made it in time for their B1G1 Free sale which meant everything ended up being half price...and the guys ended up with a better suit than they would have gotten otherwise.
  

• I had to pick out what I wanted the boys in the wedding to wear, which was the easiest thing ever!  I knew I wanted them in black slacks, black shoes and a short sleeve white button down shirt.  I shopped around online for the best deal and emailed the link to the parents.  Then Target discontinued the shirt.  DAHHH!  One of my wonderful future brother-in-laws found the same shirt on Amazon though and saved the day!  The girls' dresses were another matter.  I wanted something black/black and white that didn't look too grown up.  Ideally we would have been able to make their dresses, but you know, some things just don't happen.  I scoured websites looking for dresses.  I would find just what I wanted and they wouldn't have the right sizes.  The problem came in that I needed dresses from size 3T to size 12--and I needed 8 of them!  I could find something in the toddler sizes, but not in the girl's sizes.  I also wanted something little girl, but not too little girl for the older girls.  Eeek!  I ended up going with a couple of different dress options and hoped the boys could pull the look together.

• Then there was the making of all the assorted things: the guest book, the menu, the table numbers, the gift signs, the I DO and Mr. & Mrs. signs...You get the idea.

• My grandma had to make the cake.  (As you've probably figured out by now, my grandma is AMAZING!  She can do ANYTHING!  Plus she taught my mom!  Without those two, I would probably still be planning my wedding!)

• We had to plan the activities surrounding the wedding, starting when guests were arriving in town the Thursday before.  We had a spaghetti feed at the church where I worked along with dance lessons from our wonderful DJ and friend, Seth.  Friday we had the bridesmaids luncheon and putting together of the flowers.  That night was the rehearsal and dinner. Then Saturday was the BIG DAY...but that's another story.

This Little Light of Mine...

"...I'm gonna let it shine."

Except that I don't always.  Sometimes I hide my light.  And I'm not just talking about sharing the love of Jesus.  I'm talking about the light that he has put in each individual.  The light of my uniqueness--some may even say quirkiness.  The light that wants to break out like it does when the Beast transforms into the Prince in "Beauty and the Beast."  You know the scene at the end?  Light shoots out from his fingers and toes and it transforms him.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? We are all meant to shine...and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson

I could let the light shoot out of me and in its presence, darkness wouldn't stand a chance.  But I hide it under a bushel (that's like a basket) and then no one even knows it's there.  Some of my closest friends catch glimpses of it, but it's really just like lifting the edge of the basket and taking a peek.

I think I'm afraid of the light.  I'm afraid that if I shine, I will always have to shine.  And sometimes my light bulb gets grimy.  So I don't.  Because I don't want anyone to be disappointed when I'm not brightly lit.

But how unfair is that--to me and those around me?  If it's true that when I shine it touches others and they are encouraged to shine, then that is reason enough to do it.  Raging infernos could be started in other people's lives because of my glimmer.  It would be like passing the flame at a Christmas Eve Candlelight service.  My light touches yours.  Your light touches someone else.  Soon everyone is ablaze and light abounds.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." --Matthew 5:16

The world is different because we are living out who we were created to be instead of hiding it because it doesn't look like everyone else.  I am free to have brilliant ideas without worrying about other's thinking they aren't.  I am free to be gorgeous without hiding in sweats, and even when I am in sweats.  I am free to be talented in the things that other's may think is odd for a young (okay, I realize I'm reaching the age when that is debatable, but still) woman to do.  I am free to be fabulous in all that I choose to do.

Each person's light is going to be different because God did not create any of us alike.  I drive by this light store on my way to work each week and the whole store is illuminated by light.  There are lights for everything.  My light is frilly and girly and pink with sparkly crystals.  Yours may be all those things too, but it still won't look like mine.  Ours each shines differently.

I can't wait to see your light.

Shine today.

Rollin' On the River

Lane has been Danny's best friend for about 14 years.  They met at church and bonded over motorcycles.  Danny's seen Lane through the birth of his youngest two sons and a couple of life-changing decisions.  Lane has seen Danny for dinner--A LOT!  So, Lane was a natural choice as best man, which put him in charge of the bachelor party.

I'm pretty sure one of Lane's philosophies in life is "Go big or go home."  And go big he did!  A very big houseboat on which to party!

That's not actually them on the boat.  This is a photo taken from the Internet.  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) no photos remain from the actual bachelor party.

I had asked them not to have the bachelor party the night before the wedding since that was going to be a busy time and I didn't want everyone tired the day of the wedding, so they threw it the week before.  The guys all got together Saturday and Lane used his boat to shuttle everyone from the dock to the little island where they had anchored the boat.  The rest of the groomsmen were made up of Danny's four brothers, Nick, Dave, Luke, and Jeff (who wasn't in from Hawaii yet, but came the next day), and my brother, Josh.  Plus Mark, a friend of Lane's, came as the cook.  And Doug, Danny's dad joined in the partying too.

They spent the day fishing and climbing on rocks and other guy stuff.  Then they took Lane's pontoon boat up and down the river doing other guy stuff.  When they came back to the boat they did more guy stuff.  (I'm sure you can tell how much I know about what happens when women are not around! :) )

Sunday morning was Mother's Day and all the kids and wives were invited to come aboard and spend the day.  We had brunch, laid out on the upper deck while the kids went in the hot tub and off the slide in the back.  It was a fun day that I had set aside from wedding craziness, but all too soon it was time to dive back in for the last week of the countdown...but that's another story.

Oh, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Time for the Bachelorette Party.  I told the girls this was not necessary...but they wanted to throw me one...and a surprise one at that!  I knew the date and time to show up at Erin's, so I picked out a cute outfit, put on my new MAC make-up that I had got for the wedding and drove to Redmond.  A funny thing happened when I walked in though.  No one else had any make-up on.  Strange for a group of girls getting ready to party. 

We loaded into cars and drove to beautiful Tumalo with farmland all around.  We pulled up at a gorgeous ranch and were buzzed through the gate.  We made our way to an apartment over the stables where a couple of tables and chairs were set up...and a counter lined with make-up awaited.  It was starting to make sense.  We had met a make-up artist at the wedding expo and had come to have Terri show us how to do our make-up before heading into the rest of the party.

She showed us how to do various things, and then she had us pick the colors we wanted to use.  She did everyone's eyes herself while the rest of us watched and nibbled on snacks Erin had brought.

From there we headed to dinner at Flatbread in the Old Mill.  We ate and chatted and chatted and chatted and then headed back to Erin's and Sarah's.  When we got there Tiffany was already setting up the chocolate fountain.  Michelle and Kelsey had made some yummy adult beverages.  Sarah had made "better than sex cake."  And everyone had pitched in to put some very pretty and unmentionable things in a honeymoon basket for me.

We stayed way to late as the married women shared advice and the rest of us just talked.  It was such a fun night with some of my closest friends.  Of course Danny would say that his bachelor party was a lot more fun...but that's another story.

Showers of Blessings

Journal entry from March 24, 2012:

     "My bridal shower was SO amazing!  My plan was to get there between 12:30 and 12"45 so I could greet everyone as they came in.  We took Grammy's van so there would be plenty of room for presents.  :)  She and May had just gotten in the afternoon before so we had to fill up before we could drive to Redmond.  It took longer at the gas station than ever before.  Mom, Grammy and I were still there by 12:50, but so were a lot of other people.  Nothing like the nightmare I had where no one came.

     Meagan started taking pictures from the time the van pulled up--like the paparazzi, she said.  There were balloons tied to the deck railing.  Then I walked in.

     The presents were all piled in front of the TV.  Erin had taken the pictures I gave her of Danny and I and placed them in frames throughout the living room and kitchen.  Everywhere I looked I was finding more.  They had gone with a spring theme and had five bouquets of fresh flowers in beautiful vases.  Then there were the dangling tissue paper poofs that Josh and Jose had spent the night before fluffing and hanging during youth group.  Erin also had painted wooden flower cutouts and wrote the word 'L-O-V-E' on each one, then suspended it from a ribbon above the love seat.  Her project of all projects though was the frame she painted white, glued a ribbon trim around and staples wire to the back.  She hung pictures with clothespins from the wire just like I plan on doing for the seating chart.

     The kitchen had a little table set up for everyone to write me bits of wisdom.  In the corner was a card table with a white tablecloth and covered with beautiful teacups and saucers.  Jaina was in charge of favors and she put the lace wrapped boxes on her cupcake holder.

     The craft room had a curtain hung to cover Sarah's workspace.  The table there also had a white tablecloth and food arranged gorgeously.  Everyone had pitched in to make something yummy--quiche (Mom), pasta salad (Mom), scones (Michelle), spinach salad, chicken salad bites (Kelsey), cheese stuffed tomatoes (Tiffany), cucumber dill baguette slices (Michelle)--mmmmm.

     For dessert, Michelle had made beautiful cupcakes, but then we also had a lemon poppy seed cake with raspberry filling that she had won at the bridal expo in January.

     We ate our yummy food while we visited.  Then we played some games.  Lauren had passed out some cute clothespins at the beginning and no one could cross their legs.  Then Sarah had everyone write 'Daniel Bradley' and 'Jennafer Michelle' across the top of their papers and make as many words as they could in two minutes.  Erin had everyone help do a group Madlib about Danny and I.  The last game was a play on the Newlywed Game.  Everyone was given a list of questions about Danny's and my relationship and had to answer.  A few eeks before the shower, Erin had emailed the list to Danny and me.  We both answered them separately and without discussion and sent them back to Erin.  Erin read the question and had me answer, then she would read what Danny had said.

     After games we had cake and opened presents.  There were a lot of presents--and lots of people hadn't even been able to come!  While I opened, Mom recorded who brought what, Sarah made a gorgeous bow bouquet for the rehearsal, Lauren folded tissue paper and May threw the wrapping paper away.

     Everyone started leaving after that and we got things cleaned up and mostly put away so Erin and Sarah weren't left with too huge a mess.  Then we went home to finish invitations."

All dressed up and ready to go!

     You'd think that an outstanding bridal shower would have been enough, but the girls decided I needed a bachelorette party too...but that's another story.

You Are Invited

You're right.  Some of these posts are not going exactly in order.  There was a lot of planning that happened between engagement photos and actually putting the invitations together.  Plus, if we were doing real time, the photo shoots were two weeks apart...but that's the great thing about being a reader: I had to live it, you get to read about (which is much quicker!).

The invitations.  Let's just say it took a village. 

Here's the recipe:

Start with the Cricut I got for Christmas.  Remember the one my mom got me because she figured I'd need it for making wedding invitations sometime in the near future? 

Add to that this amazing invention called a Jigster (Google it, it's cool), which I won from DIY Bride, that allows you to do perfect mats.

Take one fabulous friend named Leah Weybright, who is a pro at computer design stuff and can take a copied Internet picture, a couple of emails, and some color samples and create a beautiful design from across the country.

Give that beautiful design to the fantastic owner of Marathon Business Machines, Bill, who spent an hour with me getting the design ready for printing on his machines and more hours trying out papers, and more hours doing the actual printing and folding and cutting.

Make an infinite number of trips to West Coast Paper Supply to talk to Brandy (she may have recognized my voice over the phone by the time we were done) and pore through sample paper books.  Pick up an infinite number more samples of paper after forcing Danny to narrow down his favorite shades of gray and white out of a couple hundred.  Force Danny to then choose the gray and white he likes best out of the narrowed down favorites.

Go to the Culver Post Office and talk to Beth.  Have her weigh a sample invite to determine postage.
Special order stamps online after forcing Danny to choose his favorite.  Pay shipping and handling because they are pretty and the post office couldn't order them.

Sort through every piece of scrapbook paper owned to find all the burgundy ones.  Cut out 150 "Loves" on the Cricut.  Throw in this amazing bridesmaid named May, who between puking spells (she was pregnant), scraped all those very delicate "Loves" off the sticky mat.  Make one mad dash to Kelly O'Rourke's house when you run out of burgundy scrapbook paper to raid her supply.

Spread out all pieces over an entire dining room table for one week.  Assemble an assembly line consisting of Mom, Grammy, May and me.  Arm Grammy with a paper cutter and the task of cutting 150 4.5" x 6.5" white rectangles.  Use Jigster to mat one of five different engagement photos (that's what we narrowed it down to) to the white rectangles.  Then use Jigster to mat matted photos to invitations.  Glue on 150 "Loves" to the inside flap.  Label RSVP cards with self-addressed address labels.  Stuff invitation and RSVP card into envelope.  Hand envelope to Mom to address.  Seal envelopes.  Label back with address label.  Stamp.  Take to post office so they stay as clean as possible.

Repeat for announcements swapping "S's" for "Loves," and Erin and Michelle for Grammy, Mom and May.

Heave a big sigh of relief because now people can come to this wedding.

Smile for the Camera

Click here to view this photo book larger



Realizing that blogs are usually quick reads, and also realizing that you, my dear reader, probably don't want to pore over hundreds of photos, I am putting our engagement book that I created on. Enjoy as many pages as you want! :)

Danny and I did engagement photos two different times. The reason: I wanted options! The first afternoon we went to Smith Rock so that we could have the place Danny proposed in the background. We reenacted the proposal only in dressy clothes and without hiking for a few hours first. The second day our very wonderful photographer, Meagan May of M. May Photography, came to Bend and did some shots at The Old Mill, some railroad tracks, and Drake Park. Again, the sole reason being options, people. I am not very photogenic, but I figured if we had hundreds of photos, there were bound to be a couple that I looked good in. It's the nature of odds. Well, turns out you don't even need hundreds when you have a great photographer. Then throw in the husband of this husband/wife team who is a pro at photo editing and voila! I became photogenic just like that! I had to look good in a couple, and Danny had to look good in those same couple because we were planning on using them on the invites...but that's another story.