Lost Me

trying to make sense of the randomness
bring order to the chaos
fun to the work
with no luck
stuck with the drudgery
laughter long gone
tears streaming down the inside
no where to cry on the outside
living moments by motion
days slip away
life carries on
waves throw me along
each incident building
leading to overwhelming
no me in sight
lost in everyone else
their needs more important
more pressing
more needy
sour looks leaking out
a frown where a smile once permanently lived
desiring the past and the hurts that lived there
hurts that affected no one but me
now any hurt only hurts others
me most of all
in the bottle it's stuffed in
awaiting the science fair explosion that's sure to come
spewing on anyone around
when a rock to crawl under
would be the best choice
but
wait
someone's
calling
no time
I'm needed again